Running River Ran Away

"Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!"

This is what Astraea Allbright (Her Kinglyness - H.K.) said when I found her down the road from the military fort. Looks like that bastard Lou Tenant stopped the explosion. I don't know why he would though. He seems like the kind of guy(s) that would enjoy some fireworks. Anyways, we went back to where the wagons were and saw that they had just started moving again, so we caught up and to make a long story short (too late) we got back to RunningRiver's encampment.

With SeeingFarther still missing, this was the perfect time for some deception. Shapeshifted into SeeingFarther, we entered the encampment where I was recognized as the chief's son wearing a strange cloak because I fell in the river and am possibly suffering from hypothermia. So after a lot of talk, the sun went down, and with Viktor and RunningRiver, entered the main tent/tipi thing where Viktor was given the pendant he was after. Chief-boy asked me to describe the pendant's powers, so I had to fake being ill to get out of there, and left Viktor alone with the idiotic muscly brute.

The next thing I knew cannonfire was raining down upon the village, and the elves were scrambling about trying to evacuate. Obviously RunningRiver hadn't thought of any emergency escape protocols, which he should have made considering he is in the middle OF A WAR!!!! With the ensuing chaos, H.K. and I decided to make our move, but found that RunningRiver had abandoned his people, leaving them at the mercy of their attackers. That is the kind of thing I cannot forgive; being rude to strangers makes me mad, yes, but abandoning your own people in a crisis situation just makes my blood boil. H.K. was in some kind of madness, she really loves that hat apparently, as she shot one of the village elders through the head because he was too stoned to tell us where RunningRiver ran off to (ha! I never get tired of the puns!).

We found that he fled to a cave where the village's medicine man resides. After briefly exploring the cave and having a little chat with the Medicine Man that did NOT end in his untimely death, we descended a waterfall and, still impersonating SeeingFather, called out for the big-bad-wussy-cowardly chief. After a ridiculously long time of waiting, RunningRiver emerged from the bushes and after he saw H.K., gave back her hat. Her response to this was to punch him squarely in the jaw, and may I say, she has quite a hook! We were discussing what to do with the big guy, and then we heard an announcement made from a crude megaphone, and it turns out SeeingFarther was being held captive by the attackers of the camp, and now they wanted RunningRiver too.

We decided it best to keep the chief alive, and after awaking him, he saw through my ruse, and I retook the form of the elf named "Tracker" by H.K. We bound RunningRiver and make our way back to the camp with my rapier at his throat. We got back and I noticed amongst the soldier who attacked, Sir Lt/Commander-guy-person-asshole-who-shot-me in their ranks. The General of the soldiers wanted the pendant, and held RunningRiver's son as a hostage. RunningRiver was not happy, but we kept him shut as we left the camp, with the soldiers assuming we'd be nice little people and give them what they want. WELL TOO BAD!!!! Having no obligation to give them the pendant, we made our way to a hill a little ways away from the camp, and it seems Commander-Lieutenant dude is back on our side. We saw Viktor at the base of the hill in his wagon waving up to us, and what did Commander/Lieutenant do? THAT BASTARD SHOT VIKTOR IN THE LEG!!!! WHY?!?! VIKTOR HASN'T DONE ANYTHING TO DESERVE THAT!!!! AND NOW HE'S RUN AWAY, GOOD JOB MAN, GOOD F@#$%&G JOB MAN!!!!

Right, first new order of business: stab Lt/Commander for shooting me. Second order of business: stab him for Viktor. Third order of business: find something to eat.

—Corona Vox

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